October 28, 2023

My best friend/sister put me on to the channel when you were going in on R Kelly. It made me proud that someone decided enough was enough. Growing up there were a lot of R Kelly’s in the Black church and in the schools. It was nice to see one finally go down. I was really impressed. When you began going in on Cardi she stopped watching you and she really got upset with me continuing to watch your shows. She really enjoyed Cardi and I enjoyed her grind from stripping to celebrity status.
I realized she was very male identified and bullied women behind whatever male she clung to for validation and self worth. I could see that she would possibly self destruct over community sausage.
When you went in on Cardi she got upset that I continued watching your shows. There were other women that would unfollow me on social media because I watched your content and I had feedback about why you continued to go in on Cardi which you would eventually admit to in your live stream the other night.

I kept asking myself “Why do I watch this woman”?
It wasn’t until my mother asked me on my way to Miami why I watch you that I finally arrived at my answer.

Many of us have trauma as Black women that we may speak about or never speak about. Many of us can read the similarities in our traumas without them ever being spoken about. We familiarize ourselves with trauma responses and the various walls and guards that are put up in those defenses.
We know all too well what it looks like when someone is operating from a wounded space or from a healing space.
There’s certain mannerisms that you call “country” that I myself have and enjoy when I see it relatable in another person. I got it from my paternal family that I keep at an emotionally safe distance for reasons that are too easy to guess.

Trauma bonding isn’t healthy and often leads to co-dependency, however if sharing parts of one’s story and being vulnerable helps another human on their journey to surviving and thriving by any means, I’m here for it.
What you did the other night regardless of intention took a lot of courage, self awareness and resilience to do.
I deal with people in groups and individuals that share knowing that what they share can and will often be utilized against them by people sitting amongst them that have no intentions or will at this time to heal forward or to grow on what was shared.
It wasn’t a full 24 hours before your live and your name became “content” which is very telling of the other YouTubers who decided to turn that moment into content.

Keep daring to heal and daring to grow Tasha and I’ll keep watching..and attending live shows as long as they’re in places I actually enjoy traveling to. It’s like coming to see that cousin that knows about the family dysfunction but we keep it to ourself to have something to laugh about later.

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